least of all

i'm drunk tonight on all hallow's eve
and the full moon is bearing down on me
i tried to escape the judgment in his eyes
but the man up there, sees me for all my lies
cause i'm not getting better, i know it's true
i lie to myself to see what gets through
not much is sticking
least of all

this idea that i have that I'm better off alone
that i'm healthier than when i left
that my mind isn't gone
that i'm seeing it through to a brighter tomorrow
and life is okay despite all the pain
that i've left all my sorrow

i don't expect much difference by thanksgiving day
but i'm gonna keep trying to feel okay
i don't want to give up yet even though i know better
but even the man on tv can't always predict the weather
and i'll keep coming up with these clever lines
and i'll try to believe these lies
but not much is sticking
least of all

this idea that i have that I'm better off alone
that i'm healthier than when i left
that my mind isn't gone
that i'm seeing it through to a brighter tomorrow
and life is okay despite all the pain
that i've left all my sorrow

fall pushing winter

october's been rough for me
for what it's worth, hope it's been better for you
not filled with nights
of countless drinks alone at a table for two

and if my math is correct
two minus one means that i'm still by myself
for now i'm taking my heart
off of my sleeve and putting on the shelf

cause i'm not breakin' down
cause i'm not givin' up
and i'm not comin' home
yeah i'll tell you i'm fine
and that everything's good
that i'm better off alone
so believe or not
i'll believe it too
it'll all be better when november comes

Release (Lungs Tighten)

there's a pressure in my chest
and it's tryin to get the best
of me and all i do
my heart's a hummingbird
i just need a gentle word
to calm me down
so call me on the phone
i don't want to be alone
not right now
i'm tired of being scared
and feelin' unprepared
i just don't know where to go from here

it's harder than it looks
not like the stories in books
with happy endings
always second guess myself
'til there's no more guesses left
i turn in circles
at times these words they aren't enough
they'll never be someone to touch
or hold me
gettin bye on day to day
what more can i say?
i swear sometimes it takes the best of me

blue lips

if you disappear i'm coming with you
cause can i feel our collision coming on strong
you're the sun
and i'm the horizon
so crash into me
and let me feel your warmth

yeah i know new york is cold
this time a year
but if your fingers get numb
i'll hold your hand
we'll be together come christmas-time
it's unavoidable

baby i won't let you cave
no way no how
cause we're in this together
together now
so yeah i'll pick you up when you fall
dust you off

we're just a couple of kids
running through the street
screaming out our lungs
waiting for our moms to call us home
i'm not gonna sweat it though
cause i'll see you in the morning

my masterpiece

can i complete this masterpiece?
will it fall through my fingers like sand?
like everything
will i awake with the sun in my eyes?
or will night fall down on me again?
and again
and again
again

everything is night and day
i need a new metaphor
to describe how i feel
cause the night ain't always so bad
and the day ain't all it's cracked up to be
while the sun may burn
the moon just shines on me

i've squandered these gifts like gold
i've wasted my youth like a fool in the lottery
left it all up to chance
and apathy
and sympathy
i want to play the hand i'm dealt
cash in my chips while i'm ahead
but for me to do that
i've gotta be
all in
i'm all in
i'm all in
i'm all in

and i'll fly from here
like a shooting star
burn up in the atmosphere
but don't worry
i won't waste your wish on me
no don't worry
i'll make sure it counts
it's gotta count
it's gotta count

can i complete this masterpiece
or will it fall through my fingers like sand?
like everything

Time Bomb

he said that "sometimes
you have to take it where you find it
in the good and the bad
and sometimes in both
and i know you're looking for a way out
cause the shit keeps piling on
but man i swear it gets better"

don't give up
(cause i'm not giving up on you yet)
don't let up
(cause i'm not letting up on you yet)

"then show me how" i said to him
"cause I'm stuck in this rut
and the hole's just getting deeper.
motivation comes in waves
if it comes at all.
and i can't stand see the morning come."

don't give up
(cause i'm not giving up on you yet)
don't let up
(cause i'm not letting up on you yet)

you're a time bomb
waiting to explode
and all this pain's just adding to the salvos
soon you'll understand
and the fuse will light
and on that day you'll blow them all away

the truth shines through

if all the world's a stage
like they say
then i'm it's biggest critic
'cause everyday
my words are more optimistic
than my heart tends to be
i'm singing 'bout beauty
my eyes have yet to see
and my biggest fear to date
is that it'll never come
that life passes us all by
and dreams set with the sun

i don't wanna be like you momma
never happy with what i've got
and no, i can't be like you papa
saying everything's OK, when clearly it's not

so where does that leave me?
in this sad, hopeless state
penniless and lonesome
looking for some way out
there's no light at the end of this tunnel
nothing but dark all around
i wish i had a guide
someone to show me the way
cause i'll be goddamned if i give it up now
when, even though it's raining outside
i know the weatherman can change his mind

no there's no chorus with this one
it won't be an easy lesson
i've seen hope in the cracks of the dark
and i can trace it with my eyes
i know the world may laugh at resilience
but my eyes haven't lied to me yet

shut us down

the coffee here ain't worth a damn
and i'm so ready for winter.
the summer sun's all well and good
but a fire is so much better
send me somewhere north
somewhere i can see my breath
where the only possible way to stay alive
is by dancing the night away

so come
come with me
yeah come
come with me

come with me to that stony bridge
that's just outside of town
or scream all night long
from the roof tops
til they try to shut us down
no they'll never shut us down

and when the stars at night fall from the sky
we'll catch them in jars
and save their light to light up the dark
it couldn't be that hard
when they start to fade out
we'll just head to the waterfront
where we won't even have to think about staying alive
cause we'll be dancin' the night away

so sing
sing with me
yeah sing
sing with me

sing with me 'til your voice breaks
and it's just the two of us
or laugh until we cry
as we run away
when they try to shut us down
no they'll never shut us down

beauty unfiltered

you're as ugly as a cryin' baby when you look at me that way
so straighten up like a good girl should
put on your best face and party clothes
now's not the time for business casual
now's the time for chasing dreams
so sop up the good times with the bread of life
go on now and choke it down

your beauty's unfiltered
like the sun in my eyes
enigmatic and golden

a kaleidoscope, a monument
for all the world to see

the last time i saw you this way
was the first time i saw you for what you are
the beauty of the world poured out your eyes
and the pain of life shined in your tear soaked smiles
unabashed, you exploded with all you that were
taking for granted that i could never leave
i meant it then and i mean it now

3

wrote something i can't post right away, i'll swap this for it in a few days.

two

She said "I can't sleep alone
'Cause the dreams are never good.
The terrors come in waves
and won't let me move."
Well I'll trade your nightmares
for some of my sweet dreams.
If it'll let you sleep peaceful,
I would do anything.



...not finished

Riddled With Meaning

I feel
like everything that you say to me
is riddled with meaning.
Without even meaning to
you change my life.
Now I know,
you're tired of the shit that always fills your life.
So come with me
And we'll finally find our own brand of happiness.

Can we talk forever
and sing all about out love lost long ago?
Can we walk together
and show each other the places we have been?
Can we face the weather
and dance in the rain til the morning comes again?

Been Meaning to Know You

i can't deny i been meaning to know you
yeah i must admit i been meaning to know you
there's something wrong, i feel it too
i look around and there's no you

so please don't leave my side
no, please not tonight
girl can't you see that this table was made for two?

i can't deny there's something i want to show you
yeah i must admit that there's something i want to show you
been kept inside for oh so long
one look at you, it's still so strong

i don't want to be alone
so please let me take you home
i am so glad that i'm getting to know you

i can't deny how just much i love you
yeah i must admit to just how much i love you
you've blown all the clouds away
you've turned my darkness into the day

so never leave my side
no please never leave my side
girl can't you see how much i love you?

i can't deny that i have outgrown you
i'm sorry to say that i have outgrown you
this back and forth keeps wearing me down
i can't keep picking myself off the ground

so please just walk away
there's nothing left to say
but i don't regret that i finally know you

i can't deny i been meaning to know you
yeah i must admit i been meaning to know you

one.

i told her "lately i've been cooled and reheated.
something's forging me like a knife.
i don't know where i'm taking this,
but i'm bending til i break."

i swear i had a plan one time, but it's lost in the overgrowth
i can say i've had dreams sometimes, suddenly forgotten by hope






i've got a long way to go yet.

a place for my clever lines

they're a plenty.

just need to work on putting them together in some sort of coherent fashion.

it'll be a place for that too.